What Love Looks Like When You Can’t Fix It
NAPERVILLE - WHEATON - GLEN ELLYN - ELMHURST - GENEVA - ST. CHARLES - BARRINGTON - BARTLETT PHOTOGRAPHER
Bloom by Alicia Staley Johnson
Hello my friend!
It’s been a full week over here—lots of headshot sessions in the studio and getting everything ready for Easter brunch with my immediate family. The kind of busy that just feels like this season.
And in between all of that, I’ve found myself out in the garden a lot… checking on things, probably more than I need to. Watching for those first little signs of life, seeing what’s starting to peek through after planting hundreds of bulbs and just hoping some of them have survived the squirrels. There’s something so exciting about it, but also a little bit of waiting and wondering too.
I think that’s what I’ve been sitting with this week… that mix of anticipation and not quite knowing.
And somewhere in the middle of all of that, life gently reminded me of something I’m still learning.
Soft Focus: The Things I Cannot Fix
I am a fixer.
It’s how I love.
It’s how I move through the world.
If something feels off, broken, heavy—I step in.
I listen, I offer, I adjust, I carry.
I make things better.
Or at least, I try to.
Living in a multi-generational home means I see more.
More of the day-to-day.
More of the small frustrations and the bigger worries.
More opportunities to step in, to help, to soften things for the people I love.
And if I’m being honest…
sometimes I step in even when no one asked me to.
Because fixing feels like protecting.
It feels like love in action.
It feels like safety.
But this week has been different.
My parents have a little dog named Trouble.
A Jack Russell Terrier who has been part of their life for over fifteen years.
He’s been loyal, full of personality, and deeply loved.
Especially by my dad.
As my dad has gotten older and his memory has begun to shift,
his attachment to Trouble has only grown stronger.
He keeps him close—always within reach, always within sight.
They take care of each other in a way that’s hard to explain unless you’ve seen it.
And now, Trouble is dying.
Leukemia. Lymphoma.
Words that feel too heavy for such a small, faithful life.
This week, his condition has worsened.
And there is a quiet, overwhelming sadness that has settled over the house.
You can feel it in the rooms.
In the pauses between conversations.
In the way everyone is a little more gentle, a little more tired.
And me?
My instinct is in overdrive.
I want to fix it.
I want to find the answer, the treatment, the one thing that will turn this around.
I want to protect my parents from what’s coming.
I want my mom to feel safe.
I want my dad to not have to carry this kind of heartbreak.
I want to make it all better.
And I can’t.
That’s the part that is sitting heavy in my chest this week.
Because no amount of love or effort or problem-solving
can stop what is already unfolding.
So I am learning something I am not very good at.
I am learning to sit back.
To listen instead of lead.
To be present instead of proactive.
To offer comfort without trying to rewrite the outcome.
To bear witness.
And it feels unnatural.
It feels like I’m doing nothing.
But maybe… this is not nothing.
Maybe this is the work.
To sit beside the people I love
while they walk through something I cannot carry for them.
To let them feel it.
To let myself feel it.
Without rushing in to soften every edge.
Because love isn’t always fixing.
Sometimes it’s staying.
Sometimes it’s holding space
while something breaks your heart a little too.
I don’t know what the next few weeks will look like.
I don’t know how this loss will settle into our home
or what it will do to my dads health.
And that uncertainty is hard for me.
But I am beginning to understand—
there are moments in life
that are not meant to be fixed.
Only felt.
Only witnessed.
Only loved through.
And maybe…
that is its own kind of care.
The day after writing this, Trouble passed (4/3/26). Rest in peace, sweet boy.
WHAT I’M LOVING THIS WEEK
Inspiring Follow: chloecleroux
If you’re craving a little escape to France mixed with beautiful imagery, thoughtful recipes, and a slower way of living, Chloé’s account is one I think you’ll fall in love with.
She is a visual storyteller, photographer, and cookbook author whose work feels like stepping into a quiet, artful moment. Based in New York with deep roots in Provence, she blends food, travel, and everyday beauty in a way that feels both elevated and completely approachable.
Her latest cookbook, The Artful Way to Plant-Based Cooking, is inspired by Mediterranean flavors and meaningful moments gathered around the table—something I know so many of us are drawn to.
Whether she’s sharing a simple meal, a glimpse of life in France, or a beautifully styled scene, there’s a softness and intention to everything she creates.
If you’re someone who loves beauty in the everyday, you’ll feel right at home here.
What I’m Loving: Haws x Gardenheir NYC Collection
There is something about a well-loved garden tool that feels like it belongs to another time.
The kind you imagine sitting outside a stone cottage in the English countryside… simple, beautiful, and meant to be used every day.
The limited-edition Haws x Gardenheir collection is exactly that. The olive green—a warm, earthy blend of green, yellow, and brown—feels timeless and grounded, like it was pulled straight from the landscape itself.
I’m already picturing those quiet mornings—coffee in hand, moving slowly through the garden, watering one bed at a time.
It’s equal parts practical and beautiful… the kind of piece you’ll use for years and never want to replace.
Local-ish: Glen Ellyn Animal Hospital
There are certain places you become loyal to for life—and this is one of them for us.
We’ve been bringing our dogs to Glen Ellyn Animal Hospital since the day we brought our Great Dane puppy home 11 years ago. Over the years, they’ve walked alongside us through every stage—routine visits, unexpected issues, and the moments that matter most when it comes to caring for the animals we love so deeply.
When my parents moved in with us, it only felt right to move their dog here as well, so all of our pups could be cared for in one place we trust completely.
They were originally recommended to me by a friend, Leah Rippe when we brought home Tallulah Blu, our Great Dane—and I can honestly say we’ve been grateful for that recommendation ever since.
They are kind, knowledgeable, and steady in the way you hope for when it comes to your animals. The kind of team that doesn’t just treat your pets, but truly cares for them—and for you.
We could sing their praises forever.
21 S Park Blvd, Glen Ellyn
Spring Duckling Minis
Our Duckling Mini Sessions are starting next weekend, and there are still a few spots available. These have always been such a favorite—there’s just something about little ones and ducklings that feels like spring in the sweetest way.
These are 20-minute, in-studio sessions designed just for children, keeping the focus simple and timeless.
Details:
• 20-minute session
• Children only (immediate family only—no cousins, friends, etc.)
• Includes 15 edited digital images
• Additional images available for purchase
• Starts at $375 (1–3 children)
Due to the limited availability, sessions are nonrefundable.
If this is something you’ve been thinking about, now is the time to grab one of the remaining spots.
with love and light,
Alicia Staley Johnson
of Alicia’s Photography
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